Over the last few weeks, little A has been growing in leaps and bounds.
He took his first steps just last week, has TWO teeth that are giving him an absolute nightmare, is eating more food than he ever has before, and is now spending every nap in his crib.
I couldn’t be prouder of him-each day is a new adventure.
But, this rapid developmental leap has also brought the clingiest. baby. ever.
It seems as if he is constantly attached to the boob, and when he’s not, he’s holding onto my leg trying to climb up my body. I can’t even go to the bathroom alone. It’s downright exhausting.
It’s easy to get frustrated and burnt out, but when I took a second to remember that this isn’t easy for him, it made things a little easier for me to understand. When I developed an understanding, rather than getting irritated at him, I found myself working with him. Below are my 3 tips for handling your velcro child.
1. Comfort Them
We all have something to get done. Some deadline to meet, or something else that’s calling our attention. When little A is clingiest, following me from room to room, and tugging on my pant leg when he gets near me, I’ve realized its because he needs some assurance. Comfort them even if you did just spend an hour with them.
The world is a scary place, and young children need frequent reassurance from the ones they trust most. When it seems like I just can’t get a second alone I will usually read to, play with, or nurse my little velcro kid. Often times, this is all he needs, and he’s happy to play independently.
2. Don’t Disappear
This may honestly be one of the worst things you could do, and will often result in a sobbing child right on your heels. Be honest and vocal about what you’re doing. This, not only engages the child, but your voice also assures them that you are near.
For instance, when I need to start a load of laundry. I’ll tell little A “I’m going to do some laundry” and then, from the laundry room I will talk to him “I’ll be out there in just a few minutes.” Often times, he will listen to me, and even babble back.
3. Create a Schedule
This is really the one that helped curb my little man’s clingy behavior. When he was able to predict what was coming next (ex. bath after dinner), he was calmer and more independent. I also used this schedule to create times during the day, like after nap time, when he and I would have 20-30 minutes of one-on-one time to play, read, do crafts or puzzles, or whatever else.
It’s very important to know and understand that clinginess, while it may be frustrating for you, is not bad behavior, and should not be punished. While it may not feel like it, it’s actually a good sign! When your child is feeling alone or distressed and they seek comfort from you, it shows that they trust you and know that you will help. Consistently reassuring and comforting your velcro child will slowly, but surely, lead to independence.
Until next time,
Savannah
A schedule works for us too. The Child is so much happier knowing what's going to happen. It's helped us get into good sleep habits too (most of the time!).
A schedule works for us too. The Child is so much happier knowing what's going to happen. It's helped us get into good sleep habits too (most of the time!).
This post was so needed right now. I like the term "Velcro child". Sounds so much nicer than needy or clingy. We will definitely try out these tips. Thanks!
This post was so needed right now. I like the term "Velcro child". Sounds so much nicer than needy or clingy. We will definitely try out these tips. Thanks!
This is such a great post, I have a velcro baby sometimes. At the moment (he's just over 6 months) he seems to be going through a phase that whenever he can see me in the room he cries until I pick him up. If I'm not in his eye line though he's fine and just plays! It's very cute, actually. I am using my baby carrier a lot!! #StayClassy
Mine can be a bit of a velcro child too-I think they all can. I must confess though, I am not great at schedules so that probably doesn't help! #FabFridayPost
Some really great tips here. Like you say it can be really hard when you have a "velcro" child but your tips are really good suggestions. Especially the one about schedule. I think that young children really appreciate having a routine that they recognise 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
Mine still does this at 5 sometimes. It's anxiety at the end of the day and needs reassurance not anger it just makes it worse. #KCACOLS Mumzilla
I was so lucky with my first, she was (and is) an independent little soul…
My second is the quintessential whingey velcro child. I really wish I was better at dealing with it to be honest! #KCACOLS
Really good to acknowledge this and these tips are great. I've also got a set of language that I use that shows how long I will be away for if I leave them. I say 'I'll be right back' if it's just a minute, "I'll be back soon' means a few hours and 'I'll see you later' means a longer time like all day or until they wake up again. #MarvMondays
My daughter has never really been particularly clingy so the times where she is i know that she's not well! I often get upset that she's so independent, but I can understand how it would be quite demanding having a clingy child. These are great tips though and it's important to remember that it's not bad behaviour. A schedule most definitely worked for us from an early age. #kcacols
Wonderful advice! My little one is 6 months and is teething and it is very hard, he is "clingy" in his own way. He always wants the boob and to be held….standing. I think a schedule and knowing that their little world is scary and big is really important and helpful advice! Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!
A great article. It's so easy to get frustrated when children are clingy but when we try and understand why they are it really does help you and them.
Routine is the key for us too.#KCACOLS
A great article. It's so easy to get frustrated when children are clingy but when we try and understand why they are it really does help you and them.
Routine is the key for us too.#KCACOLS
Absolutely! It's crazy how well they can predict what's coming next, even without a clock! He stays on schedule better than me haha
Let me know how it works out! <3 Thank you so much for commenting!
Oh yes, I remember that stage well! Oh wait, it's because at 14 months old, my son still does the same thing haha! We're past having to baby wear him allll the time-mostly because he's just far too heavy!
Yep! Me neither, my son is better at keeping them than I am.
I agree, children are very routine creatures, they love predictability, and being able to know what's coming next is so helpful with them.
Absolutely! It's nice when all they want it mama sometimes though <3
I like the word "velcro". I have two here! One is 5 yrs old and one is 2 yrs old. They are so so clingy. Luckily the older one goes to school, but then I still have the other. These are great tips, I will have to follows!
Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost x
Velcro child is a good term. My mum used to call my sister the limpet. Good tips. #kcacols
This is a great post and reminder to have patience with little ones at times like these. Its really easy to get frustrated or overwhelmed and not give them the time and attention that they need from you so I really like your tips and will definitely remember these the next time I feel like this! Great post, thanks for linking it up to #MarvMondays. Great to have you join us! Emily